Nearing End To a "DELIGHTFUL" Vacation.....

     Vacation - something that brings a spring in everyone's step post a depressing series of exams. (all the nine pointers, please excuse :-P) I precisely remember the days I could beg to be back home. And why not?? Life becomes so much easier as you come back home, doesn't it? For instance, when else could I see myself putting up two posts in two months on my blog! :D Believe me, that is some mean achievement for someone as lazy as me. I just hope I don't doze off writing this ;)
     Well, jokes apart...This part of the story is such that it isn't really hard to guess it. What else do you expect after having lived with your parents for 18 long years of your life. You are bound to miss home and the people there as you part ways. Its hard to imagine that you could ever think another 'home' away from home.
     Now, I am in this dilemma because this feeling is pretty new to me. Not very experienced at living away from home you know :P...Strangely enough, I seem to be missing my 'home away from home' even when I am at my so called home-sweet-home! And thats not it....the days that went by were not very pleasant either. Thats what makes me write 'delightful' in quotes(and in CAPITALS too, so that the sarcasm is loud and clear). Doesn't feel too good to be at two places at a time. I noticed that I was physically present, yet absent because I was lost in a world of my own on many occasions. Not as if it doesn't feel good to be back home, but honestly speaking, doesn't feel the same anymore either.
     Call it adaptation or what, we have a tendency to settle and adjust ourselves in the prevailing surroundings, no matter how bad they are, in due course of time. Don't even know if this is what is to be blamed, but yes, does play a major role in the thick of things. As the surroundings change, we change too. More importantly, when you go back, you only discover that the things aren't the same anymore. Your old friends are friendly, but the very friendship lacks intimacy. Don't even know whether friendship is the right word to use. Everything seems so old, yet new. I wish I felt nostalgic about everything that I came across all these days. But sadly, that isn't the case. No wonder I know where I am and feel where I wish to be.
      A social animal like us does build a world of its own in due course of time. I guess I built mine too, took me an year though. Tend to miss someone or some people really bad. I now realise that how strong a place someone can cement in our life within a span of an year. Priorities in life keep changing from time to time and so have mine, so much so that some people seem to matter unimaginably too much right now.
     In no way that place can ever be compared to what our parents have in our lives. Its totally different and thus pretty strange to describe in words. So I partly know as to where these forces come from that lead me to my destination. Others are still unknown, like the most mysterious forces of nature are :) So finally, I can safely say that its just my parents who have somehow been able to keep my glued to this place for two odd months now. But I guess its time to be back.. back to my 'world' which awaits me with its arms wide open.. very very soon :)

The Enigma Called Life......

Yes, you read it right. Thats what life is for me. Mysterious, uncertain, ambiguous and what not? Everytime you feel that you have a measure of it, it makes a point to throw up an unusual surprise to baffle you. It changes much faster than you think it does.

Just look back and you'll know how drastic in magnitude those changes are. I say so because I have been lucky enough to observe them closely. Why do u need a rollercoaster when you realize that you are already sitting on one?? Small things turn us happy and even smaller ones take that smile away from our faces. Its now that we can sit cosy and term our bad times in the past as mere "passing phases" and smile as we cherish and remember the good ones. But that does not mean that we cant make out those stark elements of contrast. Its just that we have the liberty to preserve and remember what we want to and show the rest the way to a can of trash.

             At times, this contrast isn't just between the 'good' and the 'bad', but even more complex. As times change, people around you change, and so does the environment around you. Change is inherent, inevitable and no amount of negotiation can help you evade it. Just look back and today would look an entirely different entity from yesterday. Sometimes, its hard to digest and adjust with those changes and cowards like 'him' prefer to choose the easy way out, that is to escape the present and find a way to virtually live in the past. Trying to revisit old memories and finding solace in cherishing them is what 'he' was surviving on. All due to lack of acceptance I guess. Forgot to mention that 'he' refers to a close friend of mine whom I happen to take as a subject. Everyone goes through the same, but I guess his way out was the most unique and the most awkward one.

Did take him a while to realize that this wasn't the way to go. This was practically like hoping against the hope. Like wishing to turn the clock backwards in time and revisiting the best of the times I had. I won't use the word pray because he actually neither did nor he ever choose to do( he had his personal reasons for the same). His eyes were only opened the day he woke up and found that he might need his past, but it doesn't need him anymore. And sadly thats the way of life. In no time you'll see that you have become past for your own past.

Thats when he started looking at the present and found that it wasn't that bad either. Well, anyone would find the same once he/she chooses to come out of the denial mode. Its like opening eyes after a deep slumber and to find that there is a completely new world awaiting you as you open up your eyes. The new world seems a lot more pleasant when you have your angel with you who walks you through, and becomes your everything in no time. It feels no less than a new lease of life breathing in you. Thats exactly when you start wishing to live the change and make it all yours. Thats exactly when denial slowly starts turning into acceptance. And the best part is that its not even forced, but out of your own will :)

He was on a high. Full of joy and energy and practically at the top of his charm, yet again. Past memories no longer bothered him and he started to appreciate everything that was in front of him. He didn't just accept but welcomed the change with both hands. Having the time of his life now, he wished that things could stay this way forever.

But friends, if things were so simple, I won't have chosen the word 'ENIGMA' to describe life. The very moment you start thinking that the present is all you ever wanted, life teaches you a lesson yet again. Its never going to be a bed of roses because no one on this earth is born with a destiny written in golden letters. Every person on this earth is destined to go through his/her share of griefs and sorrows. So there is no point fantasizing that the grass is greener on the other side of the hill. Ever seen a child cry wen you happen to snatch a lollypop out of his hands?? Well, thats his share of remorse. Our definition of the same might keep changing as we grow up and mature in life, but the way we feel doesn't change much :-)

Well, this time, for him was one of the lowest points in his life and I can safely say that he didn't do very good at tackling this change either (howsoever mature he might consider himself to be). He virtually created a hell around himself, practically living at the same place he called heaven till a few days ago. It virtually felt as if his very reason of existence ceased to exist on this earth. Thats when all the crap of negativity starts haunting your mind and eventually your thoughts. It becomes increasingly hard to think positive. Thats when you desperately need someone to kick your ass out of this mess and turnaround.

But as I always mention, every experience in life teaches you a lesson and so did his. Thats why elders know so much about this world and the people living here than we do. These few months added crucial years of experience to his life. Made him feel a lot older than he actually is :-P

But still, someone was required to get him out of this frame of mind and make him start afresh. And there came the angel to the rescue again. Yes friends, thats why I specifically choose to use the word angel for this person because this very person became a crucial cogwheel for the second straight time. Rather didn't really become but made its presence felt this time. Thats what he was missing, and perhaps thats the component that made all the difference. In no time, he was back as the person I knew,but with a better understanding of things. In no time, he understood that his life was actually revolving around this very cogwheel which had become virtually indispensable. Thats how I got to see and know, what love is, up close........

Yes, my introduction to this word is abrupt yet very apt. Thats where the crux of the story lies. Love isn't all about teenage infatuations as I might sound here. Its actually much broader than what you think it is. And believe me, its the best way to sail through this "Bermuda-triangle" called life. It could be anything. The love for your parents, the love for your friends, the same for your hobby or even your girlfriend. It could just be anything that you can imagine. Love is the answer to all the questions, the key to all locks including the most important one - the gateway to satisfaction. To successfully decode this "ENIGMA", this is one of the things you can't do without.

Just keep moving ahead.... look back but never try and apply the reverse gear or to stand still...as someone has rightly said - "Chalti ka naam gaadi" :-)